A Sparkling Smile!

One day, my husband was rushing to get ready for church, as he was always running late.  He always got very dressed up when he went to church each Sunday, and usually wore a suit.  This was also during a time that he was practically addicted to Chapstick.  (He has since graduated from my Chapsticks Anonymous.)
 
Anyway, during his haste, he quickly grabbed some Chapstick and put a fairly thick layer on and was ready to run out the door.  I noticed that he had just grabbed one of our daughter's glitter Chapsticks!  I will say he looked very funny all dressed up in a suit with the glitter Chapstick on.  As he was rushing out of the door, I called him back to tell him of his blunder, but he was very annoyed with me because he was running so late.  This annoying attitude almost made me let him leave with the colorful, sparkly Chapstick on, but in the end, I just couldn't.  Boy, he was lucky that day...
 

Husband Not Working on His To-Do List!

 

Looks like someone is sleeping on the job.  He made it to the cleaning supplies, but did not quite make it to the bathroom he was supposed to clean.  Who the heck can fall asleep like that on the cold, kitchen floor tile?  He brought a pillow, so obviously this was a choice he made to fall asleep there.  

He Ain't Toothless, He's My Brother!

One day, when I was about 11, I had, what I thought was a great idea for something to do one afternoon.  I had made up a game to play and told my 6-year old brother about it and he thought it sounded like fun too, so we played it.  It was called ‘Try to Throw Marbles in the Other’s Mouth’. 

Of course, being the nice, big sister that I was, I said that I wanted to go first.  On my first shot, I got the marble right into his mouth!  Yeah for me!  I also knocked out one of his teeth and both of them went down his throat choking him.  I told him to stop doing that (choking) because if our mom had seen him, she was going to get mad at me. 

Well, he finally got both of them back up, and before my mom saw him doing all of that awful choking thing. Thank goodness, and I didn’t get into any trouble.  After he got all better.  He said eagerly, “My turn!”  I replied, “I don’t want to play that game anymore.”  He was pretty upset that he didn’t get his turn.  I wonder why?

Adorable Girl Tells Her Divorced Parents to be Friends....Priceless and So Precious!!!

I bet this little lady will be a great public speaker some day.......maybe even tomorrow!

Nuns Tailgating!

(Above Photo - Courtesy of CBS News; Below Photo - Courtesy of The Washingtonian)

Ironically, these are the nuns from the high school I attended tailgating at the college that I attended.  Pretty cool, huh?  I don't remember this type of field trip when I was in high school.  To be fair, the Pope wasn't in town then.

A, B, C, ...F....U....

As parents, we want the best for our kids and when they are little, we get them teaching toys to help teach them things they will need to know.  One such toy is one that teaches them the alphabet by pushing a button it says the letter, and some have settings that also say the sounds of the letters.  Anyway, we had this toy.

One day, I had dropped off my kids at my aunt's house and this toy was lodged under my car seat.  As I drove, and as my life would have it, this toy was pinned under the seat at two points and it kept repeating, "F-U...F-F-U...F-U...F-F-U...", and so on.   I thought I could make it all the way home before getting the toy out, but I couldn't even make it 2 miles.  I had to pull over before I started screaming "F-U" to this children's toy! What were the odds of that happening?  The odds of that happening to me....100%.

Saber-Toothed Dog!?!

Perhaps a new breed to match the extinct feline version....

Ain't That a Kick in the Head?

Years ago, when our first daughter was only 2 years old, we were in the back yard of our new house, and there was a kickball on the lawn.  She was walking a ways in front of me while I playfully kicked the ball.  Well, one of the kicks hit her right in the back of the head causing her to go airborne and then land right on her face in a face-plant. 

I couldn’t believe that little kick of the ball had done all of that.  I certainly did not mean to do that at all, but it was pretty darn funny!  She did not see the humor in it at all.  I figured it was just getting her back for some-thing she had done or something she was going to do!

Homework Bloopers!

Blooper #1

My son was doing homework in 5th grade and in Social Studies, one of his questions was: Who founded Hartford Connecticut?  Well, he tended to be a bit lazy when doing his homework and not read everything completely.  His answer was - Many Hookers!  While that may partly be true, the real answer is Thomas Hooker.  I looked through the chapter and saw where he got his answer.  One of the paragraphs began, "Many of Hooker's...". He didn't even copy that completely right!

 

Blooper #2

In 6th grade, my son was preparing a presentation about the NFL investing in new technology in their stadiums to keep the fans coming to the stadiums rather than staying at home to watch the games.  Below is a photo I took of his paper before I had him change it.

 

The part that I have noted is: There is free wife so fans can access their fantasy...

 

That kid better thank his lucky stars that his mother looks at his homework from time to time!

 

Blooper #3

In 7th grade, I was helping my son study for a science test.  He had to list and describe characteristics that living things have in common.  One of the characteristics is that they reproduce.  I asked him to provide further detail on that.  He said that it means that they go to the bathroom.  I was jokingly beginning to wondering if I should have done that instead of reproduce with him!

 

One of My "Oops There it is Moments"...

Recently, I had purchased a new sports bra, one with a zipper in the front, because it seemed easier to get into.  The other day, I was shopping and went to the register as I had a million times before.  While I was waiting for the guy to finish checking me out, I must have leaned into the small credit card counter, the area where you sign for your credit cards, and all of a sudden - pop!  My bra completely unzipped and, in a split second, everything burst out!  Well, thankfully nothing came out of my shirt, but it was a startling moment that made me jump suddenly with a shocking look on my face.  The cashier looked over and noticed something happened, but I don't think he knew quite what.   I was mortified.  Somehow I had to make it back to my car with all of the things I had just purchased in the state I was in.  It was quite awkward, but I made it.  It was probably worst in my head, buy seriously?  What the heck?  Why do things like this always happen to me?

Spray Tans - They are Not for the Fair of Skin!

My 20th High School Reunion was coming up.  Of course we all want to look good at these things.  I have fair skin and decided to get my first spray tan for the event.  I called and they said that it took about 8 hours for the spray tan to 'take', so I set up my appointment for 8 hours before the big event.  About 6 hours after the spray tan, I didn't notice anything.  I called the tanning salon and they said that within the next two hours, it would 'show up'.  While I was waiting for that magic to happen, I got dressed and my husband and I headed for the reunion. 

On the drive there, I complained to him about the cost of the invisible tan that I was sporting, and how, of all of the skin types, something should have shown up on mine.  As I was putting on the final touches to my outfit and putting on my shoes, I noticed that the bottom of my feet were a bright orange color!  What the heck?!?  Was that it or was that the start?  I told my husband that if I started to turn orange during this event to let me know immediately and we were going to leave instantly.  As if high school isn't bad enough back in the day, huh?  Instead of coming back to show everyone how not awkward you are and how you got your braces removed, etc., I could show back up as an umpa lumpa!

Turned out we stayed the whole time and no one saw the bottom of my feet.  Whew!  I went back to the place and they tried 2 more times and again.....nothing. I guess spray tanning is just not for me and I am not that into orange feet.

Ahh Shad Up! (Looney Tunes Character Wannabe)

....and keep shadding up!!

(for all of us who watched Looney Tunes!)

Kind of Like MacGyver, but Not!

When you are younger, usually up into your 20s, you don't mind having many inconveniences such as sleeping on the floor at the beach, camping, having cars break down because your vehicle is either old or not well kept, etc.  A lot of the reason you don't mind these inconveniences is because you are usually with your boyfriend/girlfriend or a group of friends, and you make it into an adventure.  Also, you generally have more time and less money, which cause you to come up with unique ways to deal with such situations, therefore, just putting a Band-Aid on the issue or problem.

Several such situations that I recall doing when I was younger, but refuse to do or feel as if I am beyond that point now, are sleeping on the floor of a beach house, camping anywhere (my own backyard, the beach, etc.).  Some specific situations include the following:

• I remember breaking down in a car during a snow storm one night and we ended up walking home.  That was fun and romantic.... back then.  Now, I would be pissed and probably give a lengthy lecture on how someone else doesn't take care of their car. 
• Also, a truck overheated when we were driving home from the beach and we ended up getting home by putting the heat on high. We thought we were so cool (no pun intended here, especially since it was 90 degrees out and we had the heat on) to have come up with such a creative idea. 
• Finally, and I am happy to say that this idea was not mine. One New Year's Eve, I was picked up by some friends for a New Year's Eve party in an old, white van.  It was raining and the windshield wipers were not working, so they (guys obviously) had attached a rope to each one, and inside, we pulled the wipers back and forth manually!  It is quite an interesting story now, but I have zero tolerance for this kind of stuff in my life now. I am reluctant to admit that this idea did kind of work.

Now that I am 'all grown up', I don't have any time for extra incidents like those above.  I about lose my mind when I hear that my husband runs out of gas and has no back up, and this happens to him many many times to this day.  Who does that now? Better yet, who is so dumb that they don't get it the first time and make sure that it doesn't happen again?  He still lives like he is in his 20s and expects his family to be ok with circumstances like that. (Just a small vent here on my part.)

One example of him imposing his circumstance tolerance on  his family, or just being lazy, is when my windshield wiper motor had broken and been very sporadic for about 3 months, and my husband said he would "take care of it".  Needless to say, on a 3-hour trip last fall, it started to rain and he had not fixed the motor.  (Thanks a lot DA!)  I thought I had put some Rain-X in the trunk a few months back just in case a situation like this arose.  I pulled over and took everything out of the trunk and couldn't find it.  I called my husband, who had stayed at home, and told him what was going on.  He told me to "go find a Track Auto and.....".  I am on a highway, in the rain, in a different state, and this is what I hear?  A click, is what he heard as I hung up on him!  After I had heard him say to "go find a Track Auto", I didn't care what else he had to say!

I did end up finding the Rain-X in my trunk (I rock!), and later got the motor fixed....
 

They Say Snake Eyes Hypnotize...What Else Does?

I think that in many ways, the male species (at least of many mammals such as dogs, humans, and other pets - yes, I am aware of the order there....) is very simple.  That is why we often joke about guys seeing a shiny object and totally forgetting what they were supposed to be doing. 

I have found that with boys and men, one way to put them into a near hypnotic state, almost like the shiny object and the myth of snake eyes. No matter what they are doing, if you start to scratch their backs with your nails, they just about forget everything around them.  They usually will close their eyes and enjoy the moment.  That is when you ask them for something you want!  (just kidding)

The same just about holds true for dogs, just the male dogs, according to my findings.  (I am sure that some female dogs like it too.)  Instead of scratching their backs, if you massage or scratch behind their ears, they too will close their eyes and enjoy the moment. 

Boy, would it be easy to take over Mars!

Nap Like You Mean It!

 

Same pup, different sleeping angle - scroll to first post below (Napping Dog or....)!

 



Don't Drink and Drive!

One day, when my oldest daughter was about 4, she was playing inside some clothes racks with her brother while I was shopping.  About 20 minutes after we had arrived, my daughter pops out of the clothes and shouts, “Mommy, you know you shouldn’t drink and drive!?”  What the he!!?  Two seconds ago, I was a regular mom.  Now, several people in the near vicinity were looking right at me with looks of judgment on their faces.  I was mortified, to say the least.  She kept repeating it and I swear she got louder and louder as she went on.  I was trying to tell her that it was ok to drink water and soda while driving.  If anyone was listening to my explanation, they were probably thinking that that is exactly what an alcoholic would say.

The last time she said, or should I say shouted, it, I quickly joined my son inside the clothes rack, while grabbing my daughter down and inside with me.  I was trying to figure out how the heck to get out of that store without someone calling social services.  Yes, kids say the darnedest things! 

Catch!

Lightning Speed!

Something that I have noticed is that many of our providers seem to throw new charges on our bills each month to see which ones will 'stick'.  I am convinced that this is how these companies make most of their money.  It is often random and with unique titles.  I would love the opportunity to have one line on one of these bills one month to make up a service fee and then retire on what it brings in.

The greatest offender of this is Comcast.  I have had to call every month for about 18 months to get the bills straight, and they still aren't.  One of the charges that I refuse to pay is for their Blast.  I asked what this was for.  They told me it was for faster internet speed.  I asked why we had to pay for fast internet speed if they were our internet provider and why would slow internet speed be the base internet that they provided.  Wouldn't they want to just provide the fastest that they could to everyone?  Our electric company doesn't provide us low electricity, thus dull lights, and then charge us more if we want the full charge. 

Boy Makes Basket with Football!

 

This is my son making a basket with his football from the end of our driveway, about 75 feet away. He was in 5th grade at the time.

Being a Good Big Sister!

I have a younger brother by 5 years and when we were growing up, I took it upon myself to teach him a few things.  Of course, I used my own effective techniques, but they seemed to work!  The following are lessons that I taught him and how I went about it:

• I had to establish that I was the one in charge - so I would sit on him and tickle him a lot.  (He often forgot and needed to be reminded.)
• Don't dawdle when eating your ice ream - I would either finish my ice cream cone quickly so I could have his or slowly so that when he was done I would eat mine in a slow, gloating manner showing that I still had some and he didn’t.  Anyone else in my shoes would have done the same, right? 
• Don't follow me around - If you do, expect me to take my gum out of my mouth and put it on top of your head, in your hair, later needing it to be cut out causing you to look like a peacock until your hair grew back. 
• Do your chores before Mom gets home - I will also chase you out of the house causing you to trip and break your arm. 

See what a good big sister I was?

What does the Dog Say?

One of our dogs is very picky about what is going on around him when he is outside doing his business. If he hears kids playing somewhere, even though he can’t see them, he can’t 'go', and God forbid he hear another dog bark in the distance, then he is totally out, completely folds, and runs for the door, done or not.  For all us grownups know, the dog in the distance barked, “I’m going to kick your ass”, so, rightfully so, he should run inside like a little girl. 

Our other dog also gets very distract while going to the bathroom.  If a bird flies by making sounds, she looks up as if she is sure the bird is talking to her.  The same thing goes with airplanes.  I’m sure she has no idea what they are, but I am just as sure that she thinks that they know who she is.  One time, this little, observant dog was taking way too long to go to the bathroom while my husband was taking her out, so he decided to let out a loud bark himself to see what would happen.  He thought she would know it was him, but she didn’t.  She got so scared and ran right to the door.  It was pretty funny.  Again, we have no idea what different barks mean and, for all we know, his bark told her, “give me all of your treats or I am coming after you, your other dog friend, and your family!”. Maybe it is part of a "barking chain", as described in the movie 101 Dalmatians.

Since it is hard to get these dogs to do their business outside sometimes, I am afraid to sneeze or hick up while walking them for fear that those sounds might tell them I am going to tickle them, eat grass until you get stick,  or something!

Getting to be Too Big Brothery for Me!

Last week, Facebook sent me a message telling me that someone tried to get into my account.  In addition, they sent me a picture of the person who did that.  Wow!  I was shocked that they could do that.  I looked at the picture and thought, "My gosh, that person looks terrible!"  The picture was only of their right eye area and it looked like they had dark circles and bags under their eyes.  After studying the photo for a while, I realized that the photo was of me!  Yikes!  I looked awful!  This is why I don't do video chats.  Then I remembered that I had typed an incorrect password into my Facebook account a couple of times that week.

How the heck did they take a photo of me at my home?  I guess it was through the camera in my computer, and obviously done without my consent.  Well, you better believe there is tape over that camera lens now!

Thanks for the Help...I think....

Today was the first day of summer break for my son and youngest daughter, so my son decided he wanted to cut our grass with the sit mower.  He had done it once before and we said we would add that to his summer chores and he would get a bump in his allowance for it.  Well, I ran him up to a gas station to get gas, but ended up borrowing some from a neighbor.  I spilling the gas all over me, while filling the tank, which I found out has a hole in it, which spills gas on his feet during certain turns.  I then got something to patch the hole.  It turns out that our mower needs to be jump started, so after watching a YouTube video, we successfully jump started the thing, while I stood on the brake and did the hokie pokie - the thing is so picky.  Geeze, it was hot and took so much of my time and effort and now I will smell like gasoline for about a week!

Just after I got inside and started to cool down, he texted me to meet him back in the driveway to help him gas up again because, for some reason, he can't get off of the seat or it will turn off and we would have to jump start it again.  I went back inside and just after I sat down for less than 30 seconds, my daughter called my cell phone from the home phone to tell me there was a spider upstairs that she wanted me to 'get'.  Are there bells that ring in their ears every time I sit down?  This is going to be a L-O-N-G summer.

The grass looks good and I think we still owe him money for it, although I think I did most of the hard work, while he sat there and enjoyed the ride while listening to music.  When does school start again???

Refs are People Too...

Couldn't resist this shot.  You don't get to see much of this kind of behind-the-scenes on the NFL fields.  Can't you picture the little boy in this guy?  I wonder if he had a playdate lined up for after the game!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Boys vs. Girls in Sports ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I have a son and 2 daughters.  My son is the middle child and my youngest can be a tomboy or a girlie girl.  My son is very active in several sports and is very much a boy - dirt, sweat, and all. I have gone to many, many of his games and enjoy watching him and taking pictures of him as he plays.  Yes, I am a proud football, lacrosse, basketball, etc. mom.

My youngest daughter started playing basketball this year.  She, like her brother, plays with her friends.  The experience of being a mother of a girl in sports right now is completely different.  Her games were on Sundays and her Saturdays were spent doing her nails and figuring out how she was going to do her hair for her game the following day.  Are you kidding me kid?  I think her focus is a little off, but then again, she is only 8...

Poor Pup....

I was walking my two dogs in, what I think is the extreme heat (thank God and engineers for A/C), and as soon as they were done, I wanted to go right in.  One seemed fine with that and the other seemed to be resisting a little. After about a 10-foot struggle, I looked back and she had her harness around her waist and was rolling in circles within it as I was pulling her along.   It looked like she was smiling as if she was enjoying the ride.  What had happened was she had bitten through most of it and the last thread had given out during that walk.  Wish I had a video to share!

You Know the Saying....

...about borrowing from Peter to pay Paul?  Well, you know it is getting bad when you start wondering if they had another brother to borrow from!

When I Became an Impromptu Paparazzi Stalker...

 This first photo was one of about 80 pictures taken during my high speed chase.  I keep thinking," Why are they going so fast?"... and also, "I haven't renewed my driver's license yet, so I hope I don't get pulled over." (I was on my way to pick up my kids at school.)  I eventually realized that they were probably speeding to get away from me!

The entire reason for my madness was their license plate.  As you can see, it reads, "Tee Hee', which is what I had just put on the bottom left corner of the front of my blog's business card.

The real kicker here was that I ended up following this car right into the school parking lot.  They must have been parents of the school too.  Yikes!

This Blog's Business Card...

Two reasons for posting this: One - to set it as a place mark in time, and two - to set up the next blog (the one above this one)! 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Well Happy Spring to You Too! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Each Spring, it seems like Mother Nature too has a sense of humor as it looks like this tree in our yard is giving us many 'fingers' all around!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Happy Mother's Day to Me! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~

Either the kids were literally hanging out in the road giving me some space for Mother's Day, OR they were victims of my creative photography stunts.  Once again, we had to call out for cars coming! (BTW, the kids were standing in this photo.)

The Opposite of Cold Feet....

I had taken a motorcycle ride with my uncle when I visited him out in California.  The right peg for the second rider was missing on his Harley.  Before the ride, my aunt let me wear her Harley jacket and newly treasured Harley boots, that she had yet to wear. She took pictures of us before our 20-minute ride.  The last picture she took was a zoomed-in picture of the right boot.  My uncle, another guy with great ideas (not), told me to put my right foot on the exhaust pipe.  Well…..it was not long until my foot felt like it was on fire!  When I could no longer stand the heat on the sole of my foot, I transferred the weight onto my heel.  I kept rotating back and forth like this for a while.  Then I really wondered if my foot was actually on fire, and if so, would someone stop us to let us know?  I knew I couldn’t look to see because I had two choices: one – to look down and see for myself, thus risking both of our lives by chancing a shifting of weight on the bike and a possible accident, or two – risking injury to my one foot.  I chose the latter. 

 

When we returned to his house, he immediately began feverishly removing boot goo from his prize bike and my aunt took one look at the boots and instantly threw them in the trash. I sheepishly thanked both of them for the amazingly fun ride despite the unfortunate bad side effects. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Are You Listening or Staring? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When I become conscious of something that I don’t need to be, oh what a mess I make of it…..much like when talking to someone and then I become aware that I am only looking at one of their eyes.  Then I begin to think and start asking myself all kinds of questions.  Well, which eye should I focus on?  The right one or the left one?  Or do I switch back and forth?  Uh oh, now that I am so aware of focusing on their eyes, I feel like I am staring, or not paying enough attention.  Do they know what I am going through and how hard this is for me?  Maybe I should look away for a minute as if I am thinking about what they are saying. How on earth do we do all of this without thinking?  Help!!!  

They Say a Picture is Worth 1,000 Words......

 

I think she is thinking, "You are actually just going to stand there and take a picture while this fake fireman and his helper do this to me?  Help me!!!!"

Listen Up Guys for Some Insider Information: When is a 'Sip' Just a Sip?

.....Well, not when you are going out with, or married to, a female.  The sooner you accept this, the better your relationship(s) will be, and the significant reduction in arguments you will have.  This is insider information, so take it to heart.  We (women) will NEVER admit this to you (men) directly.  That is why what I am telling you is so valuable. 

If you have a drink and we ask for a 'sip' of it [note that when speaking of this aloud, you must use air quotes], we will inevitably have many more and may possibly even drink the rest of it.  You must never say anything to us about that.  Doing so, is like calling us a cow or something - a conversation you know you don't want to have for the next 3 hours.  In fact, it is better for you to just proactively order two drinks in anticipation that we will likely ask for a 'sip'.  You may even ask us if we want our own drink at times, and likely we will say, "no, we will just have a 'sip' of yours."  I know you would very much, and under normal circumstances, want to say something like, "but you are going to drink most of it; why don't you just get your own?".   Bite your tongue with all the strength you have; get the two drinks and, for your own sake, tell us that you are just THAT thirsty!

Also, the same thing goes with if we say we want just a 'bite'!  Good luck!!!

DA....Daddy....or Dumbass....?

I think many of us wives can agree that there are lots of times when we call (or want to call) our husbands “dumbass” for things they do or don’t do.  There were times I referred to mine as that by calling him “DA” in front of our kids when they were younger. This is much like when we adults spell things in front of kids to keep them from knowing what we are talking about.  I thought I was successfully speaking in code by doing this, until they started asking me what "DA" stood for.  I told them that I was beginning to spell “Daddy”, but then I got tired.  They bought it for that time being, and we all moved on.... until my next clever wordplay... 

Valentine's Day Sign at a Restaurant....

Look carefully in the middle of the photo.  There is a water droplet in the shape of a heart.  This was on our table on Valentine's Day when we went out to dinner for our daughter's birthday!

Now Kidney Stones? What's Next? Something with My Nonexistent Prostate?

It is like having a hard labor contraction that never lets go.  After 3 days of pregnancy breathing and moaning, I decided to go to the hospital.  I did not know I had kidney stones and was wondering if I was one of those people who was going to have a baby and didn’t know it. I starting saying things like “I am not ready to have another baby.  I gave all of our baby stuff away.  Maybe that is why I feel so fat lately.  I don’t want to do homework again starting with kindergarten.  I think I just felt something kick!”  My husband said to calm down and it wasn’t that and let’s just go find out.

After having been in the waiting room for over 5 hours and rocking and moaning in pain, crazy thoughts started to go through my head.  I looked around the room and everyone else was either watching TV, doing things on their phones, or talking to each other.  I asked my husband if he thought they would take me back if I went outside and dialed 911.  His response was that it cost $5,000 to ride in an ambulance.  I said, “[insert sarcastically non-affectionate name here, like 'DA' [see above post]], I am already at the hospital!  I am not going to step foot into an ambulance!”  My next thought was, I wondered if I cut myself and there was blood, would they take me back right away?  I don’t remember if I asked the nurse this when I went up to her, but I went up to fight my case myself after having already sent my husband twice. I told her that I had been in a hard labor contraction for 3 days, 5 of those hours were right there in the ER waiting room, and I couldn’t stand another minute of it there in front of other humans. If I was in a delivery room, I would have been ready for the delivery dose of the epidural many times over at that point. Within about 10 minutes, I was taken back.  This is one of the worse things I have ever been through.  Still going through it 2 weeks later...

Symbols of Love Can Come from Anywhere!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The Other Spicket ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Every fall, there are crickets, and crickets are dumb.  When they jump and hurl their ugly, bug bodies through the air, they have no idea where or how they are going to land.  When they land, mostly on their backs, they flip over and almost look around as if to see how far and in what direction they landed.  Then, Mother Nature came up with one of the scariest and most creative bugs....the spider-cricket, or spicket!!  This huge bug jumps (characteristic from the cricket) and almost knows exactly where and how it is going to land, and it can even climb up walls (all characteristics of the spider).  If you try to “get” one of these, it is almost as if they are looking right at you and they strategically jump and climb around to avoid getting caught.  You are trying to anticipate its next move and just know that it is doing the same.   

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Typical Family Outing With Uncle In Town ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Excuse Me!

I had a massage the other day.  You know how they have a 'tranquility room' that is dark and quiet with very low lights and candles?  The one I go to also has black chairs.  With all of the snow that we have, it makes it very bright outside, and when you go from that lighting to the tranquility room lighting, it is blinding and takes quite a while for your eyes to adjust.  Well, I went in and for all I could tell no one was in there, or it was full of people.  I did say out loud that I couldn't see anything, hoping someone might guide me, but no one did.  After about a minute or two, I walked gingerly over to a chair that I thought was empty and sat down.... right onto a guy's lap!  Thank God I didn't feel to see if the seat was empty first!

Ignorance is Bliss...

Who knew that a simple trip to Staples would turn out to be extremely embarrassing and somewhat inappropriate?  Well, anyone who knows me knows that just about anything can and will happen like that.  I needed an extra SD card for my camera for an upcoming vacation.  I was not able to find them in the store, so I asked one of the guys who worked there where they were.  To be accurate, I literally asked, “Can you tell me where the STD cards are?”  Yep.  That is what I said.  He had his chin down and looked up at me and said very slowly, “you mean SD cards?”  I replied, “yes”, still not understanding what I had asked for.  It was not until about 30 seconds after walking away from the guy that I realized what I had just said.  I thought that yes, that was about right for me.  Of course I would be asking some stranger for a sexually transmitted disease (STD) card and not think twice about it.  Who else would do that?  Well, if nothing else, at least I gave that guy something to talk to his coworkers about that day. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ No, no, Mommy. I didn't get into your lipstick. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One Beautiful Snowy Night...

When I was growing up and my mother drove in the snow, she mostly cried and had us kids praying the whole time until we got home.  As a young adult, I had taken my mother out to dinner and while we were out it snowed.  She was to drive us back to her house from the restaurant in her car, where my car was, and then I was going to drive home from there.  The ride home from the restaurant went something like this – her crying and praying for about 90% of the ride.  Then all of a sudden, some woman I never met spoke and said, “Isn’t it just beautiful out?”  I flung my head around so quickly wondering what had happened to my real mother, then realized that she was now fine because she knew that she would make it to her house safely.  I was thinking, “What about me, Crazy Lady? I still have my entire ride home left?!”

It Only Stings A Little...

As a mother, obviously, I had previously been  a little girl and knew a lot of little girl issues and how to raise girls.  I, however, was not a little boy, so my poor son has had to deal with circumstances of me learning things along with him.  When he was 3, we were at the doctors and they needed a urine sample from him.  Well, that sounded easy enough.  I tell ya, he would have been better off on his own.  I helped him and somehow, things literally got out of hand and I squirted him in his eye.  The poor kid – I got him in his eye with his own urine!!  Who does that?!  I don’t even know how that happened.  I told him that I was soooo sorry and that I had never used one of those like that before.  He was so cute in his little voice as he rubbed his eye and said, “That’s ok, Mommy. It only stings a little.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Napping dog or dog ready for the gynecologist? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~