Now Kidney Stones? What's Next? Something with My Nonexistent Prostate?

It is like having a hard labor contraction that never lets go.  After 3 days of pregnancy breathing and moaning, I decided to go to the hospital.  I did not know I had kidney stones and was wondering if I was one of those people who was going to have a baby and didn’t know it. I starting saying things like “I am not ready to have another baby.  I gave all of our baby stuff away.  Maybe that is why I feel so fat lately.  I don’t want to do homework again starting with kindergarten.  I think I just felt something kick!”  My husband said to calm down and it wasn’t that and let’s just go find out.

After having been in the waiting room for over 5 hours and rocking and moaning in pain, crazy thoughts started to go through my head.  I looked around the room and everyone else was either watching TV, doing things on their phones, or talking to each other.  I asked my husband if he thought they would take me back if I went outside and dialed 911.  His response was that it cost $5,000 to ride in an ambulance.  I said, “[insert sarcastically non-affectionate name here, like 'DA' [see above post]], I am already at the hospital!  I am not going to step foot into an ambulance!”  My next thought was, I wondered if I cut myself and there was blood, would they take me back right away?  I don’t remember if I asked the nurse this when I went up to her, but I went up to fight my case myself after having already sent my husband twice. I told her that I had been in a hard labor contraction for 3 days, 5 of those hours were right there in the ER waiting room, and I couldn’t stand another minute of it there in front of other humans. If I was in a delivery room, I would have been ready for the delivery dose of the epidural many times over at that point. Within about 10 minutes, I was taken back.  This is one of the worse things I have ever been through.  Still going through it 2 weeks later...