DA....Daddy....or Dumbass....?

I think many of us wives can agree that there are lots of times when we call (or want to call) our husbands “dumbass” for things they do or don’t do.  There were times I referred to mine as that by calling him “DA” in front of our kids when they were younger. This is much like when we adults spell things in front of kids to keep them from knowing what we are talking about.  I thought I was successfully speaking in code by doing this, until they started asking me what "DA" stood for.  I told them that I was beginning to spell “Daddy”, but then I got tired.  They bought it for that time being, and we all moved on.... until my next clever wordplay... 

Valentine's Day Sign at a Restaurant....

Look carefully in the middle of the photo.  There is a water droplet in the shape of a heart.  This was on our table on Valentine's Day when we went out to dinner for our daughter's birthday!

Now Kidney Stones? What's Next? Something with My Nonexistent Prostate?

It is like having a hard labor contraction that never lets go.  After 3 days of pregnancy breathing and moaning, I decided to go to the hospital.  I did not know I had kidney stones and was wondering if I was one of those people who was going to have a baby and didn’t know it. I starting saying things like “I am not ready to have another baby.  I gave all of our baby stuff away.  Maybe that is why I feel so fat lately.  I don’t want to do homework again starting with kindergarten.  I think I just felt something kick!”  My husband said to calm down and it wasn’t that and let’s just go find out.

After having been in the waiting room for over 5 hours and rocking and moaning in pain, crazy thoughts started to go through my head.  I looked around the room and everyone else was either watching TV, doing things on their phones, or talking to each other.  I asked my husband if he thought they would take me back if I went outside and dialed 911.  His response was that it cost $5,000 to ride in an ambulance.  I said, “[insert sarcastically non-affectionate name here, like 'DA' [see above post]], I am already at the hospital!  I am not going to step foot into an ambulance!”  My next thought was, I wondered if I cut myself and there was blood, would they take me back right away?  I don’t remember if I asked the nurse this when I went up to her, but I went up to fight my case myself after having already sent my husband twice. I told her that I had been in a hard labor contraction for 3 days, 5 of those hours were right there in the ER waiting room, and I couldn’t stand another minute of it there in front of other humans. If I was in a delivery room, I would have been ready for the delivery dose of the epidural many times over at that point. Within about 10 minutes, I was taken back.  This is one of the worse things I have ever been through.  Still going through it 2 weeks later...

Symbols of Love Can Come from Anywhere!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The Other Spicket ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Every fall, there are crickets, and crickets are dumb.  When they jump and hurl their ugly, bug bodies through the air, they have no idea where or how they are going to land.  When they land, mostly on their backs, they flip over and almost look around as if to see how far and in what direction they landed.  Then, Mother Nature came up with one of the scariest and most creative bugs....the spider-cricket, or spicket!!  This huge bug jumps (characteristic from the cricket) and almost knows exactly where and how it is going to land, and it can even climb up walls (all characteristics of the spider).  If you try to “get” one of these, it is almost as if they are looking right at you and they strategically jump and climb around to avoid getting caught.  You are trying to anticipate its next move and just know that it is doing the same.