Homework Bloopers!

Blooper #1

My son was doing homework in 5th grade and in Social Studies, one of his questions was: Who founded Hartford Connecticut?  Well, he tended to be a bit lazy when doing his homework and not read everything completely.  His answer was - Many Hookers!  While that may partly be true, the real answer is Thomas Hooker.  I looked through the chapter and saw where he got his answer.  One of the paragraphs began, "Many of Hooker's...". He didn't even copy that completely right!

 

Blooper #2

In 6th grade, my son was preparing a presentation about the NFL investing in new technology in their stadiums to keep the fans coming to the stadiums rather than staying at home to watch the games.  Below is a photo I took of his paper before I had him change it.

 

The part that I have noted is: There is free wife so fans can access their fantasy...

 

That kid better thank his lucky stars that his mother looks at his homework from time to time!

 

Blooper #3

In 7th grade, I was helping my son study for a science test.  He had to list and describe characteristics that living things have in common.  One of the characteristics is that they reproduce.  I asked him to provide further detail on that.  He said that it means that they go to the bathroom.  I was jokingly beginning to wondering if I should have done that instead of reproduce with him!

 

One of My "Oops There it is Moments"...

Recently, I had purchased a new sports bra, one with a zipper in the front, because it seemed easier to get into.  The other day, I was shopping and went to the register as I had a million times before.  While I was waiting for the guy to finish checking me out, I must have leaned into the small credit card counter, the area where you sign for your credit cards, and all of a sudden - pop!  My bra completely unzipped and, in a split second, everything burst out!  Well, thankfully nothing came out of my shirt, but it was a startling moment that made me jump suddenly with a shocking look on my face.  The cashier looked over and noticed something happened, but I don't think he knew quite what.   I was mortified.  Somehow I had to make it back to my car with all of the things I had just purchased in the state I was in.  It was quite awkward, but I made it.  It was probably worst in my head, buy seriously?  What the heck?  Why do things like this always happen to me?

Spray Tans - They are Not for the Fair of Skin!

My 20th High School Reunion was coming up.  Of course we all want to look good at these things.  I have fair skin and decided to get my first spray tan for the event.  I called and they said that it took about 8 hours for the spray tan to 'take', so I set up my appointment for 8 hours before the big event.  About 6 hours after the spray tan, I didn't notice anything.  I called the tanning salon and they said that within the next two hours, it would 'show up'.  While I was waiting for that magic to happen, I got dressed and my husband and I headed for the reunion. 

On the drive there, I complained to him about the cost of the invisible tan that I was sporting, and how, of all of the skin types, something should have shown up on mine.  As I was putting on the final touches to my outfit and putting on my shoes, I noticed that the bottom of my feet were a bright orange color!  What the heck?!?  Was that it or was that the start?  I told my husband that if I started to turn orange during this event to let me know immediately and we were going to leave instantly.  As if high school isn't bad enough back in the day, huh?  Instead of coming back to show everyone how not awkward you are and how you got your braces removed, etc., I could show back up as an umpa lumpa!

Turned out we stayed the whole time and no one saw the bottom of my feet.  Whew!  I went back to the place and they tried 2 more times and again.....nothing. I guess spray tanning is just not for me and I am not that into orange feet.

Ahh Shad Up! (Looney Tunes Character Wannabe)

....and keep shadding up!!

(for all of us who watched Looney Tunes!)

Kind of Like MacGyver, but Not!

When you are younger, usually up into your 20s, you don't mind having many inconveniences such as sleeping on the floor at the beach, camping, having cars break down because your vehicle is either old or not well kept, etc.  A lot of the reason you don't mind these inconveniences is because you are usually with your boyfriend/girlfriend or a group of friends, and you make it into an adventure.  Also, you generally have more time and less money, which cause you to come up with unique ways to deal with such situations, therefore, just putting a Band-Aid on the issue or problem.

Several such situations that I recall doing when I was younger, but refuse to do or feel as if I am beyond that point now, are sleeping on the floor of a beach house, camping anywhere (my own backyard, the beach, etc.).  Some specific situations include the following:

• I remember breaking down in a car during a snow storm one night and we ended up walking home.  That was fun and romantic.... back then.  Now, I would be pissed and probably give a lengthy lecture on how someone else doesn't take care of their car. 
• Also, a truck overheated when we were driving home from the beach and we ended up getting home by putting the heat on high. We thought we were so cool (no pun intended here, especially since it was 90 degrees out and we had the heat on) to have come up with such a creative idea. 
• Finally, and I am happy to say that this idea was not mine. One New Year's Eve, I was picked up by some friends for a New Year's Eve party in an old, white van.  It was raining and the windshield wipers were not working, so they (guys obviously) had attached a rope to each one, and inside, we pulled the wipers back and forth manually!  It is quite an interesting story now, but I have zero tolerance for this kind of stuff in my life now. I am reluctant to admit that this idea did kind of work.

Now that I am 'all grown up', I don't have any time for extra incidents like those above.  I about lose my mind when I hear that my husband runs out of gas and has no back up, and this happens to him many many times to this day.  Who does that now? Better yet, who is so dumb that they don't get it the first time and make sure that it doesn't happen again?  He still lives like he is in his 20s and expects his family to be ok with circumstances like that. (Just a small vent here on my part.)

One example of him imposing his circumstance tolerance on  his family, or just being lazy, is when my windshield wiper motor had broken and been very sporadic for about 3 months, and my husband said he would "take care of it".  Needless to say, on a 3-hour trip last fall, it started to rain and he had not fixed the motor.  (Thanks a lot DA!)  I thought I had put some Rain-X in the trunk a few months back just in case a situation like this arose.  I pulled over and took everything out of the trunk and couldn't find it.  I called my husband, who had stayed at home, and told him what was going on.  He told me to "go find a Track Auto and.....".  I am on a highway, in the rain, in a different state, and this is what I hear?  A click, is what he heard as I hung up on him!  After I had heard him say to "go find a Track Auto", I didn't care what else he had to say!

I did end up finding the Rain-X in my trunk (I rock!), and later got the motor fixed....
 

They Say Snake Eyes Hypnotize...What Else Does?

I think that in many ways, the male species (at least of many mammals such as dogs, humans, and other pets - yes, I am aware of the order there....) is very simple.  That is why we often joke about guys seeing a shiny object and totally forgetting what they were supposed to be doing. 

I have found that with boys and men, one way to put them into a near hypnotic state, almost like the shiny object and the myth of snake eyes. No matter what they are doing, if you start to scratch their backs with your nails, they just about forget everything around them.  They usually will close their eyes and enjoy the moment.  That is when you ask them for something you want!  (just kidding)

The same just about holds true for dogs, just the male dogs, according to my findings.  (I am sure that some female dogs like it too.)  Instead of scratching their backs, if you massage or scratch behind their ears, they too will close their eyes and enjoy the moment. 

Boy, would it be easy to take over Mars!